


The Father Who Sells Misfortune

by Haezeh



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Depression, Drowning, Jealousy, M/M, Now with a good-ish ending, One-Sided Relationship, Self-Esteem Issues, Suicide, The other dads are kinda mean, what's a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-08 03:57:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11638458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haezeh/pseuds/Haezeh
Summary: After Joseph breaks the news to you, you slowly begin to spiral down into depression. Things begin to pile on top of each other and before you know it you're staring out across the bay regretting falling in love in the first place.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Titled after Kikuo's song "The Girl Who Sells Misfortune."
> 
> So uhh, yeah this isn't happy, like, at all. I wrote it trying to avoid having a Dadsona name or any other description so y'all can project. Also, people might be a little OOC but I imagined that all the dads were in love with you but felt betrayed when dadsona went for Joseph (the one that everyone knows is a cheater) instead, so I believe their anger/resentment is partially justified.

It took you a moment to take in Joseph’s words. He’s… He’s getting back with Mary? Disbelief and a crushing feeling sank to the bottom of your stomach as you stared dumbly at him. How could he… How could he do this to you after that night you spent together?

  
Joseph explained his reasoning. Image. That's it? You thought incredulously. What is image compared to happiness?

  
“It’s for the best.”

  
Who’s best? His? Mary’s? The kids? Obviously it's not yours.

  
He walked away and you could feel the tears welling up behind your eyes as you failed to fill the empty hole in your chest with cake. Sweets fixed almost anything. You said so yourself on your first date with him. But now, the cake does nothing for you.

  
It wasn't until your Manda Panda came up to you, small gift in hand and worried look on her face that you smile again. She always brought a smile to your face no matter how upset you were. And she didn't fail this time either.

  
The photo of you and her was such a touching gift that you burst into tears as she pulled you into a deep hug.

  
“I love you, dad.”

  
“I love you, too,” you said, holding onto her as if she would disappear at any moment.

  
Unfortunately, that moment came too soon. The Summer ended quickly and Amanda was whisked off to college faster than you could crack a dad joke. It wasn't until you finally returned home after dropping her off that you realized how alone you are. No Alex. No Amanda. And certainly no Joseph.

  
Despite months having passed since the graduation party you still had yet to get over Joseph. He was always a thought in the back of your mind. How was he doing? Is he really happy? Maybe I could message him.

  
There were many times over the Summer that you found yourself in front of your computer, mouse hovering over the message button of Joseph's Dadbook profile. But yet, the thought of seeing him brought back that terrible crushing feeling so you sighed and closed the page, semi-content to crawl back into bed and sleep the day away.

  
You found yourself doing that more often now. There were days where you just couldn't get yourself out of bed, loneliness and heartache gripping your muscles making it impossible for you to even think about getting up.

  
When you did get up however, it was mostly just to relocate to the couch to watch re-runs of Paranormal Ice Road Truckers only to turn it off halfway through the episode because it just didn't feel right without Amanda. It felt so wrong without Amanda. She was your rock ever since Alex passed, and she was the last one you had left. Sometimes you would call her crying that you missed her so much. You couldn't handle being on your own. You felt pathetic for having to rely on your daughter to make friends and for relationship advice.

  
After the whole mess about Joseph, the cul-de-sac seemed tense. You remember a few days after the party where you made eye contact with Robert outside and all he did was scowl at you. Guilt and regret crawled down your throat as you sadly made your way back inside your house, trying to escape the hatred that radiated off of Robert in waves.

  
It wasn't just Robert that gave you a nasty look. The other dads seemed to avoid you during the Summer as well. Brian announced that he was taking Daisy on a month long road trip. Craig busied himself with work like usual. Hugo excused himself by claiming to have to work on his teaching plans for the next school year. Mat and Carmensita went off to visit relatives. Damien, who was reluctant to go outside, said that too much sun was bad for his complexion.

  
So you, feeling very alone, didn't talk to anyone for a very long time. You stayed in bed, wallowing in your own misery, but you really couldn't help it. The hole that Joseph tore in your chest weighed you down more than anything. You called Amanda very often, sometimes accidentally in the middle of class, just to hear her voice to know that you really weren't alone. But sometimes you didn't call her, you thought of yourself as a nuisance and you didn't want to come across as seeming needy, but you were. You needed someone to be there, to talk to, to joke with, to laugh, to have fun, but there wasn't anyone. It seemed to you like everyone (besides Amanda) hated you.

  
There were times where you told yourself to get over Joseph. He was married after all. You were the homewrecker. You tempted Joseph into adultery. It was your fault this happened.

  
It was thoughts like those that kept you in bed all day berating your wandering eye and open heart. You loved too much and thought too little of the consequences.

  
After the loss of Alex you didn't think you could love another but here you were, deeply and hopelessly in love with a married man. Your heart ached for him, you wanted to have him by your side and were convinced he would have been much better off with you. You obsessed over endless scenarios where Joseph would have stayed with you, where you could both finally have your Margarita Zone. But some part of you knew that that would never be the case. Wistful thinking was all it was.

  
You turn over in your bed, staring blankly at the ceiling when a buzz from your phone startles you out of your trance. You jump, and grab your phone immediately. It’s Craig, asking if you wanted to grab some bRUNch.

  
You heart jumps excitedly and you quickly message back that you’ll meet him soon. You drag yourself out of bed. But on the way to pull some clean clothes out of your dresser you pass the full body mirror hung in your room and jump back at the sight of yourself.

  
You don't recognize yourself at first. You look like a shell of yourself. You’ve lost a considerable amount of weight, as your filthy tank top hangs off your body in all the wrong ways. Your hair has grown greasy and stringy and scruff has made its home on your face. Your eyes are red and puffy from crying and despite all the sleep there are still dark circles under your eyes.

  
You let out a heavy sigh. There’s not enough time to shave or reason to take a shower if you're just going to get sweaty again, so you throw on a clean tee and whatever sweat pants you can find, lace up your shoes and go outside. You’ll just have to deal with Craig’s questions.

  
By the time you make it out of your door, Craig is already there doing some warm ups, River strapped to his chest like always holding onto her capybara with tiny hands. When he sees you, he waves happily.

  
“What’s up, bro?” he asks. “Haven't seen you in a while.”

  
“Not much,” you mutter forcing a smile.

  
Craig makes a face as he takes in the sight of your unkempt… everything. “Doesn't look like ‘not much,’ bro. Are you okay?”

  
“Let’s just run. I kinda wanna take my mind off of things,” you dodge the question, but just barely. You’re still going to have to talk about it later.

  
Craig looked dissatisfied with your answer but conceded to not press further.

  
The two of you jogged in silence for a very long time, content to follow Craig’s lead. Even River didn't make much noise enjoying her capybara in peace.

  
Eventually your run ended, and the two of you found yourself outside the diner where you two first had bRUNch together. In the back of your mind you thought about all the things that could have changed if you went out with Craig one more time. It's a depressing feeling theorizing about what you could have done differently but before you knew it you were already seated at a booth with a very terse looking Craig and bored River next to him.

  
“Bro, tell me what's going on,” Craig demanded, after the waitress had poured you two some coffee.

  
You grimace, trying to formulate words in your head. How would you explain yourself? There's no excuses for letting yourself go like this. You start to regret leaving the house in the first place.

  
Craig sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair, “Look, bro, you can tell me what's up. We’re friends.”

  
“I just… I feel lonely,” you finally manage to get out. Wow, real great job at not being vague.

  
“Bullshit. I haven't seen you leave your house in weeks, dude,” Craig says before taking a sip of his coffee.

  
You stare hopelessly into yours and put your head in your hands, propping your elbows up on the table. “Ever since Amanda left I’ve just felt so alone. The house is so… quiet.”

  
Craig takes in what you're saying but you don't know if he understands. None of the other fathers have sent one of their kids off to college except Robert. And you don't think that you can handle speaking to him. Not after that warning that you foolishly ignored.

  
“You know what I think?” Craig began seemingly bitter, “I don't think you're over Joseph.”

  
You pale a bit. “Huh?”

  
“I saw him talking to you at Amanda’s graduation party. I saw you crying. And ever since then you’ve come out of your house less and less and I mean look at you!” He gestures to your hair, your face, your clothes. “You’ve totally let yourself go, dude! Have you even been sleeping?”

  
You hang your head in shame and let out a heavy sigh. “I don't know, man,” your voice wavers and you can feel tears coming. “Joseph was just so good to me. And after… after Alex I didn't think I could love anyone else, but he was there for me—”

  
Craig slammed his coffee mug back onto the table, startling you out of your sentence. “Oh, and like I wasn't?” He was angry, fuming, even. But why? Was he jealous?

  
“Wh-what?”

  
“I was there for you too! You know, bro, you can be pretty selfish sometimes, just thinking about yourself and never about anyone else's feelings. Did you even stop to think about what would happen if you kept chasing after the married youth minister? But you didn't and fucked him anyways and look where you are now.”

  
“H-how did you…?”

  
“It’s a small cul-de-sac. Word travels fast.” Craig takes another sip of his coffee.

  
You feel the tears finally fall. God you must look so pathetic. Robert was right, you do deserve to be miserable.

  
Craig didn’t seemed to be moved by your tears, instead he only seemed to get angrier. “Did you ever think that I could have taken care of you better than him?” Craig stood up picking up River and placing her back on his chest. “You’re just so selfish.” With those words he exited the diner.

  
You want to stop him, but don't. What would you even say? You wipe your eyes on your sleeves furiously as if you were trying to erase all the guilt and heartache you felt. You desperately wanted to sink deep into the pleather seats, to disappear, if you disappeared then this whole mess would never have happened.

  
But then your thoughts move to your daughter. If you were to disappear your daughter would be left all alone and you couldn’t bring yourself to do that to her. So you pull yourself from the diner booth seats and will yourself to move again. All for the sake of your daughter.

  
You solemnly hang your head as you begin the long march home. Now you’ve done it. You just pushed away the last vestige of familiarity that you had in the cul-de-sac. Craig had been your friend since college but now, would he even talk to you again? You think about apologizing but where would that get you, the deed has already been done.

  
You pass by Mat’s coffee shop and spare a quick glance inside. Mat’s working hard behind the counter, handing customers their orders with a kind smile. You make eye contact for a split second, but the look he gives you has you grimacing and walking away.

  
It feels harder to move your feet than normal. Everything is heavy. Your heart, your head. That hole in your chest.

  
Suddenly, there’s a sharp pain in your shin, and before you even register it, you hear Ernest shouting at you.  
  
“Hey fuckwad!” the kid barks, gaining your attention only to throw another rock at you hitting your shoulder. “Fuck you!”

  
You wince and and notice that you’re bleeding from where the rocks have struck you. “What? What did I do?!”

  
“My dad’s miserable ‘cos of you!” Ernest screamed throwing another rock but missing. “My dad liked you, you asshole!”

  
You didn’t say anything against him, allowing the verbal abuse to continue. It looks like you didn’t only make Craig angry but Hugo hates you now too. At least Amanda is now in college and you won't have anymore awkward parent teacher conferences. But nevertheless, Hugo was still your neighbor and oh god… the entire cul-de-sac was turning against you. You really just want to get home now.

  
You ignore the rest of Ernest’s shouts and rocks in favor of trudging home. The sting of the rocks still hurts but it doesn’t hurt as much as the pain in your chest, heavy, and making you feel dreadfully empty.

  
Finally making your way back to your front door, you fumble with your keys for a moment before throwing open the door and slipping inside. You press your abused back against the cool door, wishing Amanda was here to greet you, but only silence responded. You slide down the door until you’re sitting with your head in your hands. Then you finally break into loud and ugly sobs.

  
What happened? Everything was fine in the beginning. You hung out with the other dads, you all had fun, going to concerts with Mat, working out with Craig, whittling with Robert, trivia with Hugo, everything was fine. Until you decided to go out with Joseph. Now everyone hates you. Why didn’t you listen to Robert? You should have.

  
You pull out the pocket knife Robert gave you. This must have meant so much to him, and for such a reserved man like Robert to give you a gift. You feel like such an ass. Robert probably wants nothing to do with you now. You don’t want anything to do with yourself either.

  
You feel so pathetic, crying like a teenage girl when you’re a father of a girl in college. You grab your phone and speed dial Amanda. You just want to talk to your daughter, because she still loves you.

  
With shaking hands you bring your phone to your ear and let it ring. And let it ring. And ring. Why… why isn’t she picking up? She always picks up after the second ring. Does she not want to talk to you? Your own daughter? No. You put your phone down. She’s probably just busy. You assure yourself over and over again. She’s just busy. You’ll call later.

  
For now you set your phone on it’s charger and make your way to the shower. You’re terribly filthy, disgusting even. You strip, peeling off your sweaty, tear, and blood stained clothes and crawl into the shower. The water is too hot, but you don’t do anything to change it, the sweat and blood wash off easily yet the water still stings in your shallow wounds. Ernest must have found some very sharp rocks.

  
You watch the blood and dirt wash down the drain, spiraling down into the dark hole. You never thought your life could have turned out like this. You thought that moving would begin a life a new. Only to have that dream go down the drain too. All because of Joseph. Because you couldn’t stop yourself from going after another man. Your lonely heart wouldn’t allow you to stay alone for too long. You question why you couldn't let your heart rest.

  
You move to wash your hair next, loosening the dirt and sweat that has accumulated over the weeks. It feels heavy in your hands, like oil and it doesn't quite wash out on the first try. But you don't try a second time. You’re too tired, all you want to do it crawl into bed and sleep until the week ends.

  
You finish your shower and towel off, then shave off that scruff, mindful to not cut yourself despite your shaky hands. You don't even bother to properly clean the shallow gashes that Ernest gave you as you drag yourself into a different tee shirt and sweats. You flop down onto the bed that hadn't been made in months and it suddenly dawned on you that neither you nor Craig had eaten anything at the diner. But that didn't matter. It's not like you were hungry anyways. You’d just ruin that too. You curl up hugging a pillow and curse your terrible cooking and social skills.

  
You suddenly jolt awake to the sound of your ringtone blaring. You must’ve fallen asleep. It’s Amanda’s ringtone. You grab your phone and answer immediately.

  
“Amanda? Amanda are you there?” you call into the phone, probably sounding more desperate than you should.

  
“Yo, dadtron. Are you alright? You sound kinda panicked,” Amanda says.

  
“H-huh?”

  
“You called me earlier. Is something going down?”

  
“O-oh yeah, wait, no! Everything is fine. I just wanted to… to talk to you,” you manage to get out.

  
“About what?” she asks, puzzled.

  
“No-nothing, really. Uhhh… tell me about your day, sweetie.” You just want to hear her talk. You need to hear her talk. It’s been too long.

  
“Dad, I’m kinda like, super busy. Can this wait for later?”

  
You pause. Wait. Huh?

  
“I got a paper due really soon.”

  
That’s not right.

  
“Dad I really gotta go.”

  
“O-oh. I understand.” The words come out of your mouth faster than you can register.

  
“I’ll talk to you later dad,” she says.

  
“Amanda, wait!”

  
“Yeah?”

  
“I love you… Panda.”

  
She giggles. “I love you too, dad.” You hear a click from her side of the phone but you hold on listening to the dial tone. You try to reason with yourself saying that of course Amanda is busy. She’s a college student after all. You shouldn't have called her. But you can't help the sinking feeling that your little girl is no longer your little girl. Slowly but surely she won't have to rely on you any longer. Soon… you really will be alone.

  
Your grip on your phone tightens. Before you know it you're calling Amanda again.

  
“Dad, what the heck? I told you I’m busy,” Amanda answers with a huff.

  
“I thought, maybe I could help you with your paper,” you say quickly, coming up with an excuse to talk to her for longer.

  
You hear her sigh from the other end. “Dad, I highly doubt that you can help me with ‘how Elliott Erwitt uses the ‘Decisive Moment’ technique to truly capture everyday life’.”

  
You pause to swallow, but your mouth is dry. “I… uhhh…”

  
“Dad, if it's not important then can it wait for later? I told you I’m really busy.”

  
“I can give you moral support,” you offer helplessly.

  
“Dad, seriously. This paper is due, like, tomorrow and I gotta work on it, just leave me alone.”

  
Your stomach drops. ‘Leave me alone.’ The words echo through your head and at first you don't understand what you just heard.

  
“O… oh… Okay, sweetie,” you manage to get out between your disbelief and your throat constricting in on itself.

  
“See ya, dad.”

  
“I love you, Amanda,” you say but it's too late, she didn’t hear you she’s already hung up.

  
You stare at your phone blankly. You look at Amanda’s contact picture. It's a selfie of you, Amanda, and Alex smiling and holding ice cream cones at the beach. You hardly even register the hot tears streaming down your cheeks until you can't even see the picture anymore.

  
How did your life reach this point? What did you do to deserve being left like this? First it was Alex, then Joseph, and now… Amanda? Your own beloved daughter wants you to leave her alone? You… you don't even know how you feel anymore.

  
You’re shaking. You can't breathe. Your life is collapsing around you and there's nothing you can do to fix it. What… what’s left for you? You don’t want to be alone. You can’t handle being alone. Maybe you’d be better off being dead.

  
With unsteady legs you move off of your bed. And like on autopilot you find your jacket and throw it on, leaving the house without bothering to find your shoes or to lock the door. You feel a weight in your pocket and you remember Robert’s knife. You stop where you stand looking over it's sleek black handle.

  
You won't need this, you conclude. Not where you're headed. Wordlessly, you leave it on Robert’s porch and walk away.

  
You walk and walk ignoring the pain in your bare feet. Passing by the park, Mat’s coffee shop, the animal shelter, that place where you and Hugo did those silly trivia nights, the bar where you first met Robert. You don't even spare a glance to the church. There's no one there anyways.

  
You don't slow your pace until you hear the sound of water. The sun is setting at this point and you can see the moon slowly rising over the bay. It's beautiful.

  
The soft sand is a welcome contrast to the unforgiving sidewalk. And the cool ocean breeze rustles your hair like a soothing caress. Something you wished for so dearly from the man who brought you to this same ocean. But that wasn't happening.

  
You pull your phone out of your pocket and feel the weight in your hand. Was it always this hard to lift your arm?

  
You dial a number and bring it to your ear. It rings once. Twice. Then, “Hello?” you hear from the other side.

  
“Hey, Joseph,” you croak out. Your throat is sore from crying.

  
“Oh hello! It's nice to hear from you again,” he says. You sigh, it's all platitudes.

  
“I have something to ask of you,” you say, gazing out across the bay.

  
“Hm?”

  
“Take care of Amanda for me, would you?”

  
Joseph sputters a bit, clearly caught off guard by your request. “What—what are you talking about?”

  
“Please, I need you to promise me, Joseph. It's the last thing I’m ever going to ask of you.”

  
“What? Why are you talking like this?” You can hear him growing distressed.

  
“Joseph! Please!” you're pleading at this point. “It's too late to stop me. Just please, promise me.”

  
“No! Tell me where you are.”

  
“Joseph… I don't want to do this anymore. Don't play these games with me. Stop… stop acting like you care. You… you love Mary. D-don't worry about me. I just need you to look after Amanda. Please,” you whisper out the last part.

  
You can hear shuffling from the other side then the opening and closing of a door. He’s on his way here. You wonder if the bay was too obvious. Maybe the sounds gave it away. Joseph was always rather perceptive.

  
“I’m coming to you. Don't move,” he orders you, but you shake your head and let out a shaky laugh. You hear him unlocking his car, he's on his way here.

  
“There's just no reasoning with you, huh? Not then, not now,” you think back to your daughter’s graduation party and how you couldn't say anything against Joseph’s decision.

  
“I’m not going to let you do this. Let me help you,” he says.

  
“You're too far away and I’ve made up my mind. The entire cul-de-sac hates me. E-even my own daughter wants me to leave her alone,” your voice is coming across shakily, but you can't cry anymore.

  
“That's not true! No one hates you! They're all worried about you!”

  
“Stop lying to me!” you scream into your phone. “Please… jus—just stop lying to me Joseph…” You can already feel the cold New England water wash against your feet, soaking the hem of your sweatpants. “I can't take it anymore…”

  
He calls your name telling you to stop, but you ignore him. “This isn't your fault Joseph…” You’re already shin deep in the water. The salt stings your shallow wounds but in reality this is nothing to the pain in your chest.

  
“I loved you so much, but you just… left me like everyone else… It's my fault for thinking things wouldn't turn out like this…” You’re waist deep now. Your clothes are heavy as the tide grips you, pulling you out further.

  
He says that he's almost at the marina, but you laugh softly. “Hey, Joseph… I don't think whales are as scary anymore.” The water has reached your neck and it's hard to talk without getting it in your mouth.

  
“Take care of Amanda would you?” that's that last thing you say to Joseph before you hang up the phone, dropping it into the sea. You don't realize that a few moments later another call comes in. It's too hard to make out the three figures and ice cream cones through the dark water.

  
You're completely submerged in the water. Any other day you’d think that the whales would come eat you, but that's the farthest thought from your mind. You breathe in the salty water, and it burns, but not for long. Your lungs feel heavy, weighed down by the gallons of water flooding them. Your mind screams at you to cough it up but your heart says it's for the best.

  
You think of your daughter. She’ll be devastated for sure, but she’ll be in good hands. You entrusted her to Joseph. He's a wonderful father, always placing his children's needs before his own. Unlike you. Craig was right, you really are selfish.

  
Your last thoughts are of Amanda, before you feel nothing and let the sea take you.


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bitter aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coughs up a sorry excuse for an epilogue saying, "I'm a river to my people…" and what not. It's more of a second chapter that more or less wraps everything up rather than an epilogue of sorts but I think I gets the job done. 
> 
> Lol ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Let it be known that no one knows exactly how to deal with death. Yours was no different.

  
When Joseph broke the news to Mary and the rest of the dads, it would have been an understatement to say that they were distraught. It as if no one could have seen this coming despite how close you all were. Needless to say, your death was unforgivable, incorrigible, and had rocked the small community of Maple Bay to its core.

  
As for Amanda. Oh poor dear Amanda. She took it the worst. As your only next of kin, she had to be brought home immediately to deal the with legal matters. Joseph took it upon himself to do so, as per your last wishes but Amanda was couldn't stand being in the car with him for very long.

  
When she finally arrived home, she refused to leave your house, curling up in all of the paraphernalia of her youth. Photo upon photo scattered the floor and her tears had thoroughly soaked the rug. Not even the sweetness of pie nor the warm love of all the dogs in the world could get her to smile. She had lost one parent and now the other. Why was life so cruel? Why hadn't she been more attentive? She knew something was up when you called sounding a little less hinged than normal but she shoved you away like a bratty little girl in favor of what? A silly paper?

  
If only she had known. If only she had known all the pain you were going through. She would have come home immediately and hunkered down with all the pints of ice cream and episodes of Paranormal Ice Road Truckers you two could stand. But that would never be the case.

  
This wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair, she had wailed, kicking and screaming like a child throwing a tantrum. And she had every right to. The death of any parent was awful, yet to lose both, the grief she felt was immeasurable. She refused to see any of the dads or their children, shutting herself in just like you had in your last few months.

  
But that didn't last long. Amanda was always a social girl and eventually sought out the comfort of Daisy, the two having had grown close before she went off to college. Daisy, despite her shy nature, was a shoulder that Amanda could lean on. She was sweet and purely comforting to a severely distraught Amanda.

  
Her father on the other hand, seemed deeply disturbed by your death. Brian’s cheerful and optimistic attitude seemed to fade at the mere thought. You were a great friend and something much more. He loved you, all the dads loved you and to think that you had just up and offed yourself. It was unfathomable. You had done great things for all of them. Everything in their lives was on the up and up until… Joseph.

  
The main culprit himself had barely any words to say. Too many thoughts suffocated him. There was clearly no excuse for his actions. As for apologies, who would he even apologize to? Amanda? He could hardly even talk to her in the state she was in. The other dads? He couldn't face them or his own wife for that matter, for they all knew what he had done. Robert was the most vocal, furious and roaring that he had used you just like he had used him.

  
And the more Joseph thought about it the more he realized that Robert was right. He had cheated on his wife, again, thinking that it would somehow, by the grace of God, turn out okay. But cheating in any form was never going to turn out okay. Adultery was a sin after all.

  
He had used your feelings for him to satisfy himself in his failing marriage. He had lied and planted all sorts of ideas about a perfect life out on the sea with him in your foolish and needy heart all the while never planning to follow through with them. But Joseph never expected for it to turn out like this. You drowning yourself in the very sea that he had promised to you.

  
Joseph knew that the things he had done were in all senses of the word unforgivable. He manipulated you, lied to you, and hurt you in a way that couldn't be healed. And as much as he would deny it in favor of his wife, he did love you.

  
But in his defense, however, Joseph threw back that you thought that the rest of the dads hated you.

  
It was true, they resented you for wanting Joseph rather than them. Foolishly they had let petty jealousy blind them to your suffering.

  
Robert, for as angry as he seemed on the outside, was positively miserable. Another pointless argument had resulted in another unnecessary death. For many nights Robert had drunk himself into a stupor, cursing himself for not being there for you after Joseph had tossed you aside like he had done to him. Just like before, he could have prevented a death, but did nothing. Like watching a train wreck while holding the controls.

  
Robert had thought he had learned his lesson the first time with the death of his wife but his petty hatred had gotten him again. Even after all the help you had given him, the hope to turn his life around, he couldn't get over the fact that you ran right into Joseph's arms. Right to the man he hated most.

  
I should have warned you earlier, Robert had thought while drinking bottle after bottle of whiskey. He should have told you before you were head over heels for the youth minister. You should have been head over heels for him.

  
In the days following your death, Jim and Kim’s had become Robert's home and alcohol had once again become his best friend. He missed you. He missed you so damn much and there was nothing he could do about it aside from clutching the knife you had left on his porch so tightly his hands bled.

  
Needless to say, Robert was an absolute mess, but this time you weren't there to help him.

  
Craig couldn't stop thinking about what he had said to you during your last conversation at the diner. That wasn't the way he had wanted it to go but he had just gotten so angry. He was jealous of the affection you showed to Joseph and took out his anger on you, driving you further away not knowing where that would have led you. But when he first heard that you killed yourself he denied it. It wasn't like you. He knew his bro and his bro wasn't someone who would do something like that. Would he?

  
But now… there was no fixing this. All the frustration he felt weighed him down. He went to gym even more often than he normally did, working out to take his mind off of you. Often times pushing himself to the point of exhaustion as punishment.

  
Yet his words to you were always creeping in the back of his mind. A sick reminder that he drove you to suicide. It was no coincidence that you died the same day as when you both met up and it tore at him endlessly. He believed that it was his fault. He should have talked it out. He should have apologized. He should have done all sorts of things to show that he loved and cared about you, but there was no taking back your words from a dead man.

  
So he hung his head in his hands. Regret swallowing him. And not even the comfort of his twins or even River could shake him out of it. He wished you were here. He wished he had never said any of that.

  
But he was not the only one who was faced with endless regret. Upon hearing of your death, Ernest almost choked. His father across the dinner table staring at his phone, jaw slack and eyes wide in disbelief as he relayed the words unknowingly out loud.

  
Ernest had dropped his fork to the floor in shock, suddenly losing his appetite. He—he didn't think it would have gone that far. It was… just a joke. A prank! He didn't mean to! He was just a kid! Believe him! But those excuses wouldn't save his ass. He knew what he did. Ernest started to panic. He had quickly excused himself from the table, leaving his heartbroken father to read and reread the words that had been sent to him.

  
He locked his bedroom door, thinking of all the impossible scenarios. He couldn't tell Hugo of what he had said and done to you. But he wasn't a dumb kid. He knew the coroners would find the bruises on your corpse from the rocks he had thrown. They would question endlessly and Ernest couldn't live with that guilt.

  
He called Lucien almost in tears, explaining everything and begging for advice, who surprisingly told him to tell the truth. After all of these years arguing with his father, to suddenly come clean about what could possibly be one of the worst things in his father’s life terrified Ernest. As much as he outwardly hated Hugo, he was still his dad and he cared about him.

  
So, against his better judgment Ernest fessed up. In a mess of tears and raised voices he confessed to his father everything that he had done. Ernest had never seen his father more furious. Hugo was so furious in fact that he hardly even knew what to do. His son had gone way too far out of line. A simple grounding wasn't nearly proper punishment for his actions. In turn he resorted to sending Ernest to his room for now, unsure of how to properly deal with his son.

  
Hugo had put his head in his hands afterwards, thoroughly at a loss of what to do. His ex would have known. He always knew what was best. It was at this moment that Hugo truly missed having someone by his side. He wanted you to be that person. You were just someone so special to him and when you decided to fall in love with Joseph he just couldn't believe it. He loved you so much and the rejection hurt so coldly. He thought to avoid you at all costs in an attempt to take his mind off of you but in the end he had no idea that Joseph had turned you down. He had no knowledge of the loneliness you felt, but if he did… if only had had known…

  
But what was there to do? You were already gone and nothing could change that. Hugo was a practical man and he understood this, as much as it chipped away at his strained heart. Yet what pained him the most was his son’s careless actions. He knew Ernest was trouble, but to throw stones at you in his name? Hugo didn't know how to feel. This was the first time his son had ever done anything for him, yet it was just so cruel. Cruel enough to make you take your own life. And Hugo couldn't stand for that.

  
What came next was one of the most difficult father/son conversations of his life. It had the both of them in tears by the end, and so much was shared between the two, both of them walked away from the conversation with a new found respect for each other. Needless to say, Ernest was severely grounded for the next few months but he accepted it with little fuss. Being grounded with forgiveness was far better than living silently with the guilt.

  
~

  
After weeks of conciliation from Daisy and the others, Amanda thought it was best to bring all the dads together to talk. She wanted to understand why you had decided to take your own life. During her car ride home from college she was only given a little information about what you had said to Joseph and she needed to know more. So she called everyone together for a meeting.

  
Robert was a bit difficult to get a hold of but with some coaxing he finally came out his home, looking very worse for the wear and only partially sober. Everyone else entered your house with guilty looks on their faces, eyes downcast, while Amanda sat back in your recliner, having set up a ring of chairs in the living room.

  
It wasn't meant to look like an intervention, but in a way it was. And as much as she wanted to start the meeting with the classic: “I bet you’re wondering why I called you all here today…” shtick with her hands in a Mr. Burns style grip, she refrained. It was a serious matter and should be treated as such. She had matured so beautifully. You would have been so proud.

  
The meeting began with Amanda asking Joseph to tell everyone what you had told him the night you died. So he did, only interrupted a handful of times by Robert accusing him of lying and telling everyone to not listen to the “son of a bitch cheater” but Joseph swore to God that he was telling the truth and continued nonetheless.

  
“He believed that you all hated him for falling in love with me,” Joseph said, not looking anyone in the eye. His arms resting on his legs and hands interlocked tightly between them. “I tried to tell him that that wasn't the case, but he didn't believe me.”

  
“And who should?” Robert grumbled. Amanda shot him a look and he shut up. She was growing tired of his outbursts.

  
“No, he was right,” Craig cut in, running a hand through his hair. “I did, for a time… hate him for falling in love with you.”

  
The other dads looked between each other. It seemed as if they all shared similar feelings.

  
“I was jealous of you Joseph, because I wanted to be the one that he fell in love with. And that morning before he… died I spoke with him, at the diner, after we ran for a while. And I took my frustration with you out on him. I even remember making him cry,” Craig confessed, hanging his head in his hands. “I felt like such an asshole afterwards but— God, Amanda, I’m so sorry.”

  
She frowned. Apologies did little to remedy the situation at this point.

  
“It's all my fault,” the athlete said.

  
“I believe as if it is all of our faults,” Damien interjected, legs crossed and fiddling with a piece of his hair. “We were all particularly fond of your father Amanda, and our jealously didn't make his situation with Joseph any better. In turn, we seemed to have shunned him without knowing how he truly felt.”

  
Amanda sighed. “I should have seen it coming. Dad was always bad at explaining his feelings, I mean, you saw how he was when he first came here. Socially awkward and fumbling through all of his first meetings,” she said, reminiscing for a moment.

  
“We all should have done something,” Mat said, hand shaking slightly as he gripped his coffee cup. “I saw him too, the day he died, right outside the window of my coffee shop looking inside and right at me. But I just couldn't stand to see him. So I ignored him.” He paused to take a sip from the coffee in his hands before continuing. “But looking back on it now, he just looked so sad, so lost. Your father needed us but we weren't there for him.”

  
“Some would say that it was better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, but in this case, we all could have prevented this loss,” Hugo murmured, adjusting his glasses.

  
“All we had to do was suck up our pride and face the fact that Joseph beat us,” Brian said with a sheepish smile and a pat to Joseph's back. But the youth minister only bowed his head solemnly. It was hardly anything to be proud of.

  
Robert suddenly go up from his chair and stalked his way over to Joseph, sticking a finger in his face. “Like hell I was ever gonna let a cheating bastard like you beat me!” It was very obvious that he was drunk and Amanda thought that she should have rescheduled for a day when Robert wasn't drinking.

  
Brian grabbed Robert’s arm, attempting to diffuse the situation, but Robert growled and yanked his arm away, turning his attention back to Joseph who sat there silently.

  
“You just couldn't help yourself, could you?! Always going after the vulnerable and unsuspecting, huh? Because you're just soooo reassuring. But I know your game,” Robert spat. “We all know your game!”

  
“Robert stop!” Amanda ordered.

  
“No! You took everything good in my life away from me!” Robert snarled, pulling Joseph up by his collar with one hand, the other readying a punch.

  
“Yo, cool it!”

  
“Stop, Robert!”

  
Before the punch was swung, Brian had pulled Robert off of Joseph, arms locked around his.

  
“Get the fuck off me!” Robert fought against Brian but the fisherman easily outweighed him and stood his ground firmly.

  
“Robert fucking stop it!” she swore startling the whole room. She was positively fuming. This was not how she had hoped the meeting would go. “Just… stop it,” she said softer this time, tears forming around the corner of her eyes. “D-don't talk about my dad like—like he was just some prize to be won! You were his friend! Treat him with respect! Something you obviously didn't show him because look at where dad is now! Not with any of you because none of you deserved him!” She was full on sobbing by this point, fed up with it all. “I-I just want my dad back…”

  
Then room fell silent save for Amanda’s sobs. There was nothing they could do, there was no magic to bring you back from the dead. That didn't exist here.

  
It was Damien who got up to hug Amanda, pulling her to his chest and running his hand through her hair soothingly. She allowed him to as she wrapped her arms around him as well and cried into his vest. The other dads looked to the floor, ashamed and clueless as to what to do next. Robert had long since calmed down.

  
When Amanda finally stopped crying, she let go of Damien and rubbed her eyes on her sleeve. “You all can go,” she said. “There's going to be a memorial service for dad a few weeks from now. I’ll send out invitations soon enough.”

  
They left wordlessly, Brian leading out Robert who was still grumbling but calmer now. But Joseph stayed behind on the doorstep for a moment.

  
“Amanda, I—” he began.

  
“Save it,” she said, cutting him off. “If it's about what dad said to you then I’ve heard enough. I know now.” She started to close the door, but Joseph stopped her, putting his foot in the way.

  
“No, it's not about that. Amanda I want to tell you that I really did love your father,” he said, as if the words were a being weight taken off his shoulders.

  
“You should have told him that, not me.” With that she closed the front door.

  
~

  
The memorial service went off without a hitch. Many people from all over Maple Bay came by to pay their respects to you. Niel, Pablo, Whatevermaster Quinn, even some of Hugo’s students showed up and of course all the dads and their children. Even though you hadn't known them for very long, you played key parts in everyone’s lives and that was just enough for them to stop by. Some didn't call it a memorial service however, in fact it was more like a celebration of life with how everyone was sharing the good memories of all the things you had done for them. If there was any bad blood it was hardly shown. Robert even managed to keep his outbursts to a minimum for the sake of politeness.

  
Afterwards, Amanda had decided to have your body cremated, placing some of your ashes in a small ern to wear around her neck. She wanted to keep you with her always you were her rock after all. The rest she spread around Maple Bay.

  
It was clear that everyone missed you, Amanda the most of course. The cul-de-sac just wouldn't be the same without you. It was like a piece that had fit perfectly into the puzzle had been ripped out suddenly and everyone was still trying to catch up. But it doesn't change the fact that they love you, and still do. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos and comments guys. In all honesty I didn't think people were gonna like this. Anyways, back to suffering over attractive dads. _(:з」∠)_

**Author's Note:**

> I had thoughts of an alternative ending where Robert noticed you placing the knife on his porch and stalked you to the beach, witnessesed your call with Joseph, watched you attempt suicide only to save you, but I scrapped it cos I couldn't think of how to end it properly cos Joseph would still be with Mary and nothing would really change except the other dad's opinion of you. In reality I'd imagine that dadsona would feel like a burden and think that the other dads are just trying to make him feel better out of obligation, but eh. Also, why would Robert care or even follow you if he genuinely feels betrayed? If anyone wants to try their hand however, feel free my dudes.


End file.
